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Book Outline and Excerpts
Chapter One: “No, I Won't!”: Introduction
…A reward plan is an extremely useful, enjoyable, and creative way to help your child improve her behaviors and to help both of you lay claim to some control over what happens next. Most important, a Reward Plan is a way to help your child break contrary patterns and move, by his own choice, toward productive behaviors that feel good. The plan is based on what is known as ‘behavior modification', which is a fancy way to describe what's happening when a child receives stars, stickers, points, or other tangible rewards directly after performing a desirable behavior. Your child is learning to associate good behavior with a rewarding outcome…
Chapter Two: Bribery or Reward? A Critical Distinction
…The fact is that rewards provide only a temporary incentive for children to try out new ways of behaving. The goal of a good plan is to instill in children the wish to use desired behaviors. But this wish can develop only when children experience the pleasures of doing the right thing-pleasures they hadn't known could exist for them. In inspiring this desire, a good Reward Plan moves away from the dark alleys of bribery into the sunlit fields of unanticipated benefits…
Chapter Three: Designing and Carrying Out Your Plan:
The Reward Plan approach is extremely versatile and usually quite effective for any child from age 3 and up…. The following examples will give you an idea of the many different kinds of behaviors this plan can improve:
- saying please and thank you
- brushing teeth
- using tissues
- letting others go first
- decreasing fighting between siblings
- stopping thumb sucking or nail biting
- letting others speak on the phone
- doing chores
- picking up toys
- dressing quickly
- sharing
- controlling temper tantrums
- increasing kindness between siblings
- reducing whining
- going to bed on time
- finishing all homework
The basic steps for a successful reward plan are:
Step 1: Decide what problem behavior to work on. Choose your battles; don't expect your child to change all his difficult behaviors in one plan.
Step 2: Consider how to tackle the problem. Often, a list of steps that will guide your child to the ultimate goal is helpful. If the aim is to leave the house in the morning promptly by 8:00, the first step might be finding shoes the night before. Introduce the reward plan to your child before you're in the middle of a crisis, not during one.
Step 3: Design a chart to keep track of your child's progress, and award stars, stickers, or checks for each completed step. Encouraging young children to help decorate the chart increases their sense of ownership.
Step 4: Choose a modest reward. With older children, you may allow a little negotiation, but hold firm on the size of the reward.
Step 5: Follow through: Provide encouragement and reminders, and do your best to be consistent. |
Part 2
Time for Action: Sample Reward Plans
…The sample Reward Plans in Part 2 are organized into chapters that treat seven of the most common challenges parents must help their children face:
- getting along with others
- keeping to the schedule
- overcoming sleep problems
- establishing hassle-free hygiene
- getting along with siblings
- doing the chores
- reducing homework blues
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Here's a quick overview of a Reward Plan:
The Problem:
Six-year-old Heather wakes up nightly and insists she needs her parents company to fall back to sleep. Her parents have tried reasoning to her about her fears, but Heather insists she is scared. While Heather tends to be an anxious child, there is no significant stressor in Heather's life right now, so her parents decide it's time to encourage more independence and self-soothing.
The Reward Plan:
Heather's parents design a three-week plan during which they will slowly withdraw their nightly company. They will sit on a chair that will move further and further away from Heather's room. After each night that Heather goes along with this plan, she will get to solve a clue on the Treasure Hunt chart, and hunt for a hidden treasure (e.g. a small toy or a Prize Coupon for a special activity). Heather succeeds with the plan, and her parents reward her with an I Did It! Certificate. Heather is proud of her ability to “sleep like a big girl” and her parents are far less tired! |
Part 3
Your Toolbox: Reward Charts and More
Time for action!
By now, you probably have a clear idea about what behavior problems you want to tackle, and what kinds of incentives your child needs for motivation. All that remains is choosing the right chart, setting it up, and getting it going.
Here's an overview of charts:
There are a large variety of charts to choose among, but it's easy to figure out where to start. Most parents begin with a Basic Chart such as a Design-Your-Own chart which kids up to 7 or 8 love to decorate with photos, stickers, or artistic creations. Older children prefer no-frills charts such as Keeping Track or Daily Checklists. Beyond these basic charts, there are many charts designed to provide variety and engage children of different ages and with varying interests. For example, the Welcome to the Zoo chart is popular with preschool aged children, and the Treasure Hunt chart engages kids aged 4-9. |
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